Falling
by The awesome aog
Summary: Ayono has been having strange feelings for his desk mate. ShinAya. One-shot. Genderbent because I can.


Teachers complained that Ayono didn't pay enough attention in class in class.

That was true, but then neither did Shintari, and she was at the top of the class.

And Ayono would know. He was too busy paying her the attention to even bother looking up at the teacher. Yes, Ayono wasn't very discreet, but, while the teachers noticed, _she_ didn't and that was the only thing that mattered, wasn't it?

And it wasn't Ayono's fault he couldn't stop starring, Shintari was just so…interesting. No, that wasn't the right word. _She was_ … it was times like these Ayono regretted not having a bigger vocabulary.

Shintari _never_ talked to anyone. That was what had captured Ayono's attention first.

She was always alone.

And, to Ayono, who was _always_ surrounded by _some_ amount of people, it was an entirely foreign concept.

Didn't she get lonely sitting on that very cold bench everyday during lunch, sandwich in one hand (it was tuna, Ayono noted, always tuna) and, in the other hand, her ever-important iPhone?

 _What was she always looking up?_ He wondered absently. She wasn't calling anyone. Occasionally, she'd take out headphones so that meant listening to music or a movie perhaps?

But that was getting off track.

Priding himself on being a social, popular, friendly person, Ayono had no problem in gathering courage to ask her to sit him. It was a simple, casual request and he was sure she'd jump at the chance for some company. She'd be really happy with a huge smile on her face, Ayono fantasized. Unfortunately, there was a problem

She wasn't.

She had dismissed his request with a frozen, "no, thank you"

If anything, the refusal made him even more intrigued.

She got to school early every day and was nearly always found with a book in her hands. The title always changed, of course, but the genre, to the somewhat thick Ayono, stayed the same, something hundreds of pages long with hard words and an intellectual, metaphorical, deep meaning that he couldn't even hope to fathom. Shintari really was _so smart_. Her position was the same every time, though. The book splayed out in front of her, one hand held it down while the other played in her hair, usually winding that one strand _round and round_.

Her hair was a deep black and _really_ shiny. _Probably silky as it looks_ he thought and, purely for curiosities sake of course, longed to run his hand through it.

 ** _-Really, he couldn't place when exactly it had happened_**

"Hi," he had greeted, beaming, as he took his seat next to her. ( _He remembered a time when he was actually disappointed that the teacher had placed him here._ )

"Hello." She had responded coolly.

"So ~ how much did you get?"

"The test, you mean?"

"Of course!"

"100%," she had said offhandedly, like it was nothing, "They make the tests too easy."

He had stared in awe. Shintari was so amazing. And he definitely made his admiration (that was what you called it, right?) known.

"And you?" she had questioned out of the blue.

Ayono had been so surprised by her sudden words that he could only manage a garbled "huh?"

"Your grades," she clarified, patient and disinterested.

Ayono's skin burned and his heart beat had been erratic. Why though? "56%" he laughed, nervously and sheepishly at the same time, "Typical. At least I passed though, right."

The rest of the day the heat would not leave his face. 'She was just being polite' he told himself when he got home.

Despite his words, something distinctly foolish and hopeful warmed his chest and brightened his sight.

 ** _-but some how_**

Ayono starred at Shintari as Shintari starred out the window. ' _What are you looking at?_ ' he reached out desperately, ' _What are you looking for?'_

That day, during lunch, instead of asking her to sit with his friends, he sat down by himself _next to her._

She looked up mildly irritated, her headphones were on today.

"What are you doing?" he asked her brightly.

"My iPod." Her answer was simple and filled with venom. _He was destroying her peace._

Undeterred, he leaned forward eagerly, "What are you listening to?"

"Vocaloid."

He gasped, " _You're an otaku?!"_

"Of course not," she huffed, pouting. ( _She looked so cute_ )," I just like _some_ songs."

"It's okay. I really like Vocaloid too," he confessed a bit too openly, "Any song in particular?"

She looked at him for a second before answering, "Antichlorobenzene."

"Isn't that a bit depressing?"

She shrugged in response. She didn't feel like explaining herself to him.

"Have you heard-"

 ** _-somewhere along the line_**

"Do you ever wonder…"

Ayono turned to look at her. Her raven hair fluttered in the breeze of that windy rooftop and her hands clutched the safety rail a bit _too_ tightly. Her eyes (the same eyes that were a maze of so many different ideals, so many theories, so many –well, _everything)_ looked distant, lost somewhere, as it seemed to Ayono, that he could never reach.

He nudged her lightly so she would know he was still listening.

Her eyes continued to stare at the horizon. Her voice continued with the same dreamy feel, "Doesn't it all seem a bit pointless?" This side of Shintari, Ayono had never, ever seen. It was neither better nor worse and intrigued him all the same. She just looked so vulnerable. And Ayono did not want to lose this chance, so, grasping at the thread of conversation that was falling through his fingertips, he prompted her further.

"What I mean is," she pushed a lock of hair behind her hair, her voice hesitant, "if I died right now, I know I would soon just be replaced, so what's the point?"

Ayono wanted to laugh, he really did, but doing so would offend Shintari so instead, "That's just silly."

Shintari finally turned to look at him, a skeptical expression on her face.

"You shouldn't waste your time thinking about 'what's the point' or 'what comes after' because then your life will go by without ever experiencing any joy in it! Life is wonderful and short so we should live while we can!" Ayono was panting, out of breath, excited and had the most absurd grin on his face. He, himself, didn't know where those words came from but it was the moral code by which he had lived his entire life. And he was more than glad to share it with Shintari.

Shintari, however, pursed her lips. She still wasn't convinced, "How is life wonderful?"

"It just is," Ayono tried hard to find the right words. He wanted so much to convey his emotions "Think about all those simple things you like; like snow, warmth by a fire, getting caught in the rain, smelling flowers, going for lazy walks, hanging out with friends-."

"I've-," Shintari looked down, "I've never done- or at least never _enjoyed- any_ of those things."

Ayono looked at her incredulously, "You don't like hanging out with friends?!"

She shrugged, her voice small, "I've never had any."

"That's even sillier," Ayono grabbed her hand impulsively, "Aren't we friends?"

Ayono smiled at her earnestly, and, looking at Shintari's wide eyes, flushing cheeks and almost hopeful expression, the emotions _had_ been conveyed.

 ** _-in the process of figuring out her instead of math equations_**

Their relationship, Ayono realized with glee, was _growing._

Shintari talked to him of her own free will and, sometimes, even _initiated_ the conversation. They sat together during lunch every day. It was all Ayono could possibly have hoped for.

One day, when Shintari was absent (He went to her house afterwards, she was sick with the flu, the poor girl-) he sat with his old friends.

"-And did you know? Shintari _really_ doesn't like sports. Which is strange because she looks so fit, right?" Ayono rambled, "And also her-"

"Dude," one guy groaned, "We know you have a crush on her but tone it down. Seriously."

 _Crush?_ Ayono looked genuinely confused, "What do you mean? I don't have a crush on anyone."

"Then what do you call your stalker-ish tendencies?"

"I just want to know her better," he defended.

"I don't know how to break this to you, but I don't think that's how it is, Ayono"

That night, Ayono lay in bed, awake and perplexed.

 ** _-he had fallen_**

Ayono decided that he would take Shintari to his mother's school's festival.

"Why?" she asked, not out of irritation.

"Because it'll be fun!" he replied promptly.

So the two of them went. It wasn't as fun as Ayono had said it would be, Shintari grudgingly admitted, but it wasn't so terrible. There was fattening, unhealthy food, game stands and they even made two "friends"; a short boy with a short temper called Takeshi and a sweet, artistic girl called Haruhi with prettily fluffy hair.

But what really caught Ayono's attention were two things.

 _One_ , they were continuously told by the staff that they were a "cute couple".

And _second,_ when they were walking back-

It was snowing and freezing cold, Shintari shivered. As soon as Ayono noticed, he immediately took of his own bright red scarf and held it out to her. Shintari took it with a red face and incoherent grumbles. Ayono chuckled at her behavior; 'she's so cute' he thought reflexively.

"We're here," Shintari alerted him when they reached her house.

"So this is goodbye then, I guess" Ayono suddenly felt sad.

Shintari nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

But as soon as he turned around, Shintari grabbed at his sleeve, "wait-! thank you for today-!"

Ayono felt comforting warmth on his cheek as the shape of lips, _Shintari's_ lips. It was gone too soon. Ayono raised a hand to his burning face, at _that_ area, and it wasn't until later to Ayono, who was still standing in the cold, that Shintari had already slammed the door shut.

- ** _Hard_**

"Um, Shintari?"

"What is it?"

"We've been spending a lot of time together-"

"Yeah?"

"…and…"

"Spit it out, already!"

"Will you go out with me?"

* * *

 _A/N; Well, that's that! Is it just me or is this incredibly sappy?_

 _I've been meaning to write something non-angsty and ShinAya so this is what happened! Why did I gender -bend them? For fun, of course. I love both of the versions equally!_

 _Oh, and if you're confused (which is unlikely);_

 _Ayono; Ayano_

 _Shintari; Shintaro_

 _Takeshi; Takane_

 _Haruhi; Haruka_

 _By the way, yes, it wasn't you; Ayono was really stalkerish! XD. I don't know- I think he means well but it's kinda hard to like someone when they're as cold as Shintari. Please ignore my weird headcanons. Also, I just chose these names cause I literally had nothing else. So if anyone has any suggestions for these characters and the other's, don't be shy!_

 _Remember, Feedback is loved ;D_


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